Milo, being the world's most adorable love child, seems to get all the attention around here, but what about his half-sister Apple? I mean, she's kinda "different" too. She's named after a fruit for one thing.

But what makes her especially different you ask? Well, our evidence has led us to believe that Apple is none other than...

THE CHOSEN ONE, DESTINED TO DIMINISH THE DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE!

That's right, my amazed apprentices. And here is why...



THIS is Anakin.

He was conceived by the force. In other words, he has no father.

THIS is his mother, Shmi.

She and the force had it going on.

THIS is Apple. (note similarity between name apple and anakin. they both start with "a.". coincidence? I THINK NOT!) She is not this big in real life. That is the force playing tricks on you.

This is her mother, Gwyneth.

Note the pissy expression and ugly pants. NO MAN could POSSIBLY love that pissy face.

No man but THE FORCE that is.

Yes, Apple, since she looks nothing like her "father" Chris really, and since no man could love the pissiness that is Gwyn (and her pants), Apple is a fatherless child. She was conceived by the force, and is the chosen one, destined to end the reign of the dark side.

This is what she will become once puberty is reached.

Yeah. Watch out for that.

And keep an eye out for Milo too. He'll be killing those damned crazy Mormons.